CLOSURE (from Last Thursday, April 1)

I am writing my closure on some factors that have struck me so much, as though I am Juliet’s heart, aching for Romeo one more time.

Part-time E-Rep @ PS
It has only been a few months since I stepped into the doors of People Support. It was my first job. Like any enthusiast for a call center career, I was nervous, but I knew I had the edge. I have heard of people saying there is no growth in this business, but I must say, I think that the people who actually had the passion to do it are the ones who have noticed that growth. I can never really say how much talent I gained in those sleepless nights trying to get a sale. It was all about discipline, rapport amongst fellow e-reps and customers, and worse, patience. I thank all those who have helped me become at least the person PS wanted me to be. I am guilty of the fact that there were times when I did not take this seriously. But now that I am inches away to stepping out of that door that I first walked in, I felt the heartbreak. For a moment there I thought we can go a long way. I should have striven more to elicit mirth and genuineness.

College
DLSU has given me a chance to finally graduate. But after six long years, all I can say is, “At last!” Looking back, around the exuberances of my batch mates, around the campus that was always on the go, around the wry looks on our professor’s faces, among other things, I smiled. This was my whole life as a struggling Lasallian. And, just a thought, would I be an achiever? I spent my Grade School years preparing for the next level and I spent High School preparing for College. Now that I am about to impart what I’ve learned, I am truthfully scared. I feel that I would not be able to circle up like the winds of Africa, but instead I might slide down as if I were Jack trying to escape something prodigious.

Relationships
One of my favorite actresses of all time once said, “Love shifts and changes. I do not know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time.” I have been in love with just one man. But situations just did not permit it to be forever. We have spent so much time fighting for and about our relationship than actually having one. I’ve always believed that love conquers all. Especially in a marriage, when you love one another, you see more about that person you love, and because you see him more, you are also prepared to see something less. But now that I am actually in distress, I thought maybe I was wrong. Maybe love doesn’t necessarily have to conquer all. And because of so much pain, I feel like no matter how much I loved, in the end, it is lost.

Right now, I am listening to Lea Salonga’s version of, “Reflection”. Every time I come face to face with my self, I come face to face with reality. So many times I have tried to hide from it, and now, I have to know who I really am inside. I only believe one thing: I am strong. I am such because I finally learned the pains of living, and loving.